Expectation

The excitement, nervousness, anxiety;

The eagerness, enthusiasm and agitation that you bring.

The goose bumps on my body and the palpitation that you cause.

I feel like I’ve been here one too many a time; and yet,

it feels so different each time you touch me.

 

They say that those associated with you should be grateful,

as not everyone gets that privilege.

Those who yearn to be with you think there will be liberation.

 

Liberation.

They think that you will bring liberation.

Little do they know of the ever-expanding cage that you truly are.

 

You are the elation of bringing a new born into this world

and the disappointment of it being a girl.

You are that child who got third place without hope of winning anything

but retributed for not coming first.

You’re the old man demanding respect but kept aloof

because of disparaging the rest.

 

You are the miracle and the cataclysm of life.

 

I feel like I’ve been here one too many a time; and yet,

it feels so different each time you touch me.

 

It’s funny, how you reward those who’ve cut loose from you

And drown those who stick to you like leeches.

I guess you like to play hard to get.

 

“Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will”, they said.

Clearly underestimated your destructive capability.

As good as you may be, sometimes too much of a “good” thing

can cause excruciating pain.

 

We share a strange chemistry, you and I yes.

You’ve put me on a pedestal and thwarted me on it.

You’ve made everyone believe I can conquer whilst

leaving me alone to deal with this euphoric mob.

You’ve made me think that I could believe in you and

disappeared without trace.

 

And each time I say goodbye, you come knocking on my door.

Welcome you, I shall.

 

You’d think that I’d learn my lesson but I guess I am just a fool.

Then again, I am but just human.

 

I feel like I’ve been here one too many a time; and yet,

it feels so different each time you touch me.

 

Expectation, you’ve uplifted me and shattered me.